Living Like I Were Eternally Drunk

Part One:

So today I return to this blog after quite the hiatus. I've been away for a while, but now I'm back ... for now ;)

I've been thinking through this recently, and I've decided that here's where I'll try to spell it out: what would it be like to perpetually live like I were drunk?

Now I know that many have, over the ages, denounced drunkenness as deeply deplorable, and, for my part, I've most often agreed with that sentiment--although I, of course, as the chief among hypocrites, still yield to it from time to time.

It's in that very yielding that my thoughts have dwelt of late.

There have been times when I was consumed enough to feel the "liquid confidence" (as some have called it) coursing through my veins, and with this extra power I said all sorts of things that a more stoic, sober me would not have said. Not could not have said, mind you, but merely would not have said.

Here in this small shade of gray, I find a world of interest.

Despite the above fact that I have "said all sorts of things," I've never regretted what I've done--either at the time of action or even in retrospect during the ever-infamous morning after. I've always said (or even done) things that my normal allotment of self-control and inhibitions would handily squelch or delay until "just that right moment."

I may have wanted to say these things for a long time ... but I just couldn't quite muster the determination to do so. And it was only when I let down my guard just a little bit more than usual that I was able to suppress my own self-suppression and allow expression.

Out of this mindset, of finding a little more courage than normally I find, I wonder what it would be like to always feel the confidence that a few shots somehow instill after meager consumption.